Ask Uncle Larry

Dear Larry,
Is it true that Billy Breslin is on the way out below in the hospital or is the wife right when she says they’re just doing tests? ‘Wires’ McLoughlin and meself have a tenner on it.
Mick Shelley.

Dear Mick,
Bad news on Billy Breslin I’m afraid, sure you know you’re fecked when they say they’re doing tests, it just means they don’t know what’s killing you. Doing tests, I think half of them in that hospital should be doing tests – they know feckin’ nothing and they’ll never give you a straight answer. They’re always covering themselves.
“Have I got cancer Doctor?”
“Well we couldn’t find it if you have.”
“And how good are ye at finding cancer Doctor?”
They’ll just smile at that stage and pretend not to hear you.
They’re an awful shower them Doctors.
All the best Mick, hope your piles are improving.
Larry.