DAVY DARBY IS OUT

They’ve let him out. Apparently the treatment is agreeing with him now and he’s no longer a danger to himself or anyone else. They reckon if he keeps takin’ the tablets and stays off the drink he’ll be sound. He’s still going on about St. Patrick, the Blessed Virgin and Big Tom appearing above at the bridge. According to the bauld Davy, Big Tom has undergone a conversion and is warning people against country and western music sayin’ it’s the work of the devil. The Blessed Virgin is still giving out about the state of the world and sayin’ that hard times are comin’ and that the end is nigh. I don’t know why it’s always the same depressing, negative message from her, maybe she has spent too long appearing in cold and damp places. She’s always fierce pale lookin’ in the pictures and the statues anyway, she could do with a bit of sun on her back to liven her up. But I suppose it’s easy for us to be saying things like that: getting pregnant at such a young age and then ending up with that aul’ lad Joseph was bound to affect her. It was no joke in fairness. Anyway her moanin’ is gone past a joke, people are fed up of it - they must be damn glad to see the back of her upstairs when she leaves to go on tour.

Is This Tommy Tiernan's Twin?

Who is He?

Rumour has it that this man is a candidate in the general election. Does anyone know who he is?

FOR FECK sake look what they did to Bev!

Fine Girl

Frankie Claus!

Well at least Frank will have a job for Christmas, but not in the Dáil of course.

Painting Competition 2 - The Ring master

Well fair play to Anne in Westport for sending in the following picture of Ringo. Anne you have succeeded in making him look like an intellectual which we all thought impossible. Anyway we decided to publish it.

Thanks again Anne but we felt it was important to make a few further amendments lest we mislead people. Keep sending them in folks.

Painting Competition!!!!!

Well the posters are up and aren’t they all looking mighty, not a pimple between them. There’s a few budding artists around the village who have taken out the markers. In fairness some of the efforts are very good. Time to get painting lads and lassies. Leave your comments and your photos and we'll publish, especially if they are Mayo candidates. There might even be a prize for best poster. Here's a sample of local shinner Gerry Murray...let the games begin!

Ask Uncle Larry

Dear Larry,
Is it true that Billy Breslin is on the way out below in the hospital or is the wife right when she says they’re just doing tests? ‘Wires’ McLoughlin and meself have a tenner on it.
Mick Shelley.

Dear Mick,
Bad news on Billy Breslin I’m afraid, sure you know you’re fecked when they say they’re doing tests, it just means they don’t know what’s killing you. Doing tests, I think half of them in that hospital should be doing tests – they know feckin’ nothing and they’ll never give you a straight answer. They’re always covering themselves.
“Have I got cancer Doctor?”
“Well we couldn’t find it if you have.”
“And how good are ye at finding cancer Doctor?”
They’ll just smile at that stage and pretend not to hear you.
They’re an awful shower them Doctors.
All the best Mick, hope your piles are improving.
Larry.