Old Folks Party

The annual party for the aul ones will be in the community hall next Sunday afternoon. Mossy Brannon will be there with the Sax and Jimmy Doorley will sing a few songs. There will only be one alcoholic drink served to those attending because of the drink driving laws. Garda Magillicuddy has promised zero tolerance in the aftermath of auld Johnny ‘the dealer’ Donaldson arrested on Christmas Eve. Johnny, a pensioner from out the Back Road was paralytic and found to be in possession of enough cocaine to drive half the village stone mad and he had enough viagra tablets to stiffen every aul lad in The Village. The problem is that the pensioners have far too much feckin’money these days and they don’t know how to spend it, between cocaine and viagra they don’t know whether they’re coming or going. They’ll be worse after next January with the budget increases. Years ago they would be paying money over to priests for masses and making donations to the church. They’re spending the money on themselves now or buying expensive presents for grandchildren and showing parents up. It’s not right. Garda Magillacuddy has warned all the aul ones that he will be carrying out random searches on the door next Sunday afternoon. Sure it’s common knowledge whose bringing in the drugs, it’s that pioneer Jimmy ‘the snozzle’ Durack and him in his seventies. Sure all that fecker ever does is sit on the high stool above in Pa’s and sip his cidona.