Monday, January 1, 2007

What was New years day like in 1907? – I interviewed Peteen “The Awkward Bollox” McGonagle for some info.

Tommy: Howaya Peteen.

Peteen: Hah?

T: Howaya Peteen.

P: Hah?

T: HOWAYA PETEEN.

P: HOWAYA TOMMY.

T: ANY CHANCE YOU MIGHT TURN THE HEARING AID ON?

P: OK

T: Good Man. Tell us about New Years Eve 1907.

P: Who wants to know?

T: It’s me. Tommy Gilmartin, from the far bog. You’re nephew.

P: Oh, Mikey’s youngest son, the nosey little bollox with the girls hair, is it?

T: Er, yeah, I suppose so.

P: I never liked you.

T: Ok. Any chance you might tell us about New Years Eve 1907.

P: They said you were queer.

T: Lookat, I can go and talk to old Stevie Vaughan just as quick.

P: No doubt. He is queer too.

T: Allright, good luck. But there was a bit of cash in it.

P: New Years Eve 1907? Times was hard.

T: “Times was hard.” Look Peteen, I’m not a fucking yank y’know. I’m
asking about New Years Eve – not the conditions in the workhouse during the famine.

P: Fuck off so.

T: I will. And I’ll take the hundred and fifty euro fee with me.

P: New Years Eve 1907. I spent it in a hay barn hiding out from the Tans.

T: The Tans didn’t arrive until 1920.

P: Hah?

T: How old are you Peteen?

P: I’m 97. And I’m still as horny as a ram. (Don’t get any ideas.)

T: Ah for fucks sake!! You weren’t even born n 1907!

P: Or maybe I’m 107. I forget.

T: Yeah, well you can forget this too. Good luck.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you think it's funny to laugh at the men and women who fought for our independance? The freedom you enjoy now was paid for with their blood.

Shame on you.

Anonymous said...

Respect to the people who fought for... independence, less respect for the people who died defending the right to misspell.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Francis, but Mcgonagle IS the most awkward Bollox in the Village, (and proud he is of it); and the Tans DIDN'T arrive until 1920, so I don't really see your point here. I'm the last fella that would be laughing about the old IRA, ever since I made that joke about the Free State when I was a young fella and had the ghost of Michael Collins give me a wild kick up the hole on my way home from the pub that same night.
By JESUS he had some power in that boot!

Best Regards,

Tommy.

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