Well there was fierce craic at mass last Sunday and we are printing an unedited extract from Fr. Fiachra’s sermon which was all about his ‘dark night of the soul’ when the devil came to him in the person of his recent visitor Monica Lucey and nearly destroyed his vocation:
“I was holding onto my vocation by my finger nails, sure all my naïve eyes could see was her beauty when I met her but when she started tempting me to give in to the wicked ways of the flesh I got suspicious. I fought that temptation all night long last Saturday night suffering shocking visions of decadence and tormenting scenes of a graphic nature. I fought it with all my faith and prayed rosary after rosary while sweating profusely and, getting violently sick: all I brought up was green mushy liquidised peas, and I never eat peas. I was certain I was going to die until I saw this vision of a white longhaired man with a beard knocking down a tower made of lego. It was then I realised what it was all about. The longhaired fella was God and the lego tower is the spire I’m trying to build. Right there and then I promised faithfully to shelve my plans to build the spire and then all the torment left me. It was then I understood that even the arrival of Monica Lucey into my life had been linked to my preoccupation with financing the erection of the spire. The erection of the spire was a stupid idea of mine, foolhardy in the extreme. Reflecting back on it I now realise it was God who used the devil to get through to me.”
So there you have it, exciting stuff but I don’t know what he was doing all the fighting for sure a good blow out over a few nights is good for any man or woman. Unfortunately Monica has left the village, there would be no shortage of volunteers for her ‘temptation and torment’and maybe even a bit of punishment if she was dishing it out. Sure the only way to cure temptation is to give in to it. Isn’t it marvellous how some people get great opportunities to sin while the rest of us in rural Ireland only dream of what a sex life might be like. Oh the clergy get all the softness, always did.
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