The Village Notes has learned from an anonymous source (good man Fr. Fiachra) that the Vatican is soon to announce it has amended it’s stance on the use of condoms and it will no longer be a sin to use them in certain circumstances. However any use of the Banana Flavoured range will still be a MORTAL SIN under ANY circumstance.
Aul’ Wans Party
Let ye write it down somewhere so ye don’t forget it. It’s on next Sunday in the Community Centre, starting at 7pm. Paddy Finnegan will be there with his melodeon and Sr. Concepta Immaculata, the swingin’ nun will be there with her guitar. The ladies club will be making the tea and sandwiches (nice to see ye getting back to the stuff ye are really good at ladies!) and Tommy Finnegan has sponsored a few prizes: there’s a bottle of whisky, a few boxes of Complan, a tin of biscuits and a few packs of soft sweets. There was some confusion last year as to what age you had to be. It was feckin ridiculous there was people over 70 going around saying it was only for the over 80’s. Well to avoid confusion this year, if you’re 60 or over you’re an aul’ wan so get down there next Sunday and have the craic. And for the benefit of Maggie McGillacuddy you’ll be thrown out if you start feeling the young fellas arses like you did last year: young Nolan had a bad bruise for a fortnight after you.
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