Hay Wrap Floating at the Crossroads

The flooding down at this end of the Village is something unnatural, Tommy. We haven’t seen the postman with a week and I’m fast running out of tins of beans. I’m going to head off into town tomorrow on the tractor to get meself a few messages, no tax or insurance on her but sure the guards have little to be doing if they’re going to be chasing me for that.
Do you know the first thing I spotted when I got up this morning was a big hay wrap floating around down at the cross with the letter ‘S’ on it. I immediately looked up to Pa Brophy’s field and didn’t I see that right enough the ‘S’ was missing from the FUCK OFF CROWS message which he had scribbled across them. There was a crowd below at the cross so I headed down. Pa was below with the rest of them laughin’ his head off like he always is.
‘Some poor fucker is missin a wrap,’ he said.
That poor fucker ‘could be you’ says I like them lads Aunt and Dick do say it on that I’m a Celebrity programme.
He looked into the field and saw the ‘S’ missing. There wasn’t another word out of him. The next I heard he was revving fair hell out of the tractor and heading straight for the crowd.
‘Out of my fuckin way Lawless or I’ll run you down.’
He had the wife Bridie down with him, and got her to swim across to put a rope on the bale - she’s one hairy woman is Bridie. She learned to swim when she was working with the nuns. How is things up your end Tommy?